The Psychological Impact of Infertility
For many people, going through fertility treatment can be one of the most distressing and tumultuous periods in their lives; it is an experience that can deeply affect an individual’s sense of self.
This can put a strain on family, partners and general life as they feel increasingly alone and failing in a ‘male or female’ sense. Something so apparently easy for others has become ‘medicalised’; and patients may feel a resulting lack of control over their lives. If they have little emotional support before, during or after treatment, patients can feel an increasing sense of detachment or depersonalisation in different areas of their life as they try to cope with the stress of trying to create a family.
The Counselling Dilemma
Studies have shown that people are reluctant to seek psychosocial help because they are ‘meant’ to be mentally and socially ready to have IVF and start a family. This is understandable however untrue. By hiding and ignoring your emotions you are in fact adding to your stress instead of tackling it head on and learning beneficial coping strategies and learning how best to live through what is happening. There are dangers of neglecting the emotional impact of involuntary childlessness and viewing it solely in biological or medical terms. Hiding your feelings is counterproductive for your overall wellbeing in the long term and it is always best to reach out to a friend, your fertility nurse or doctor to see what help is available. Talking helps.
“You’re allowed to feel the way you feel. The current situation may be incredibly unfair and unbelievably frustrating. You’re grieving the loss of control, hope and time. Be kind to yourself. ”
So with that said, let’s talk about some coping strategies that have been shown to help you stay positive during your fertility journey.
Coping Strategies That Work
Practicing Mindfulness
Infertility is a critical major life problem that has deleterious effects on the psychological well-being of infertile women. Infertile women experience greater stress in their life compared to fertile women and have a lower quality of life. One study aimed at evaluating the effectiveness of mindfulness-based cognitive infertility stress therapy (MBCIST) for the promotion of the psychological well-being of women with infertility showed that MBCIST improved the psychological well-being of infertile women, including their self-acceptance, positive relations with others, autonomy, purpose in life, and personal growth. Meditation techniques has been shown to help calm your mind and can be taught easily. The more you practice the better you become. research has shown that there are many health benefits from practicing mediation, such as reduced stress levels, lower blood pressure and a healthier immune system. To really benefit from meditation and still the mind, it is advised to practice for at least 20 minutes a day: practicing regularly will help you feel more in control.
2. Positive Affirmations
It actually works. The way you speak to yourself has an impact on your mental wellbeing and how you perceive yourself. Let’s be honest, I think we could all speak a little kinder to ourselves. Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself?
Try this….. try listing all of the negative thoughts you have about getting pregnant:
‘I have a low AMH’
‘The doctor said I only have a 10% chance of success’
‘If I don’t get pregnant my husband will think I'm failing him and leave me’
Then, go back over these comments and change them. Put them into the present and instead, change these negative points into positive ones.
Like this…..
‘I am looking after myself as best I can and in great nutritional shape’
‘I am one of the 10 percent’
‘I have a partner who loves me and supports me. We are in this together’
“Challenge the negative messages ”
When practicing the art of affirmation it’s important to say them out loud. Speak to yourself. Let yourself hear the words and believe the words. Sound convincing like you mean it. There is power in this. It can help to then close your eyes and repeat the affirmations to yourself over and over, letting them sink in to your subconscious. Try it, believe me.
3. Maintaining Connection
It can become so easy to detach from friends and loved ones when you are on your journey trying to conceive. If it is not happening and going to plan as you had hoped, you may start to avoid certain gathering such as baby showers, or birthdays in order to protect yourself from how this may make you feel. Listen to yourself and if that is what makes you feel better, do it. It is also really important however to keep connections with your close friends as there is therapy in speaking to friends and family about how you are feeling and what you are going through. You should not try to deal with this all alone. If you do not want to speak to close friends there are loads of amazing supportive resources available online through social media and facebook. Get in touch and we can offer you lots of resources depending on where you live.
Remember, stay positive and be kind to yourself.
Have a question for us? Feel free to contact us. Alternatively, you can find us on Instagram @thefertilitytalk